Spent casings, littered the ground like confetti after a parade. Those are the little pieces of brass that are left over, after you've used a bullet, not the pieces of colored paper. They were every were. Spread about like seeds from a hand, sown destruction, not grain; little, cute, pyramid like piles, all by themselves; small handfuls of five or six or eight in a starburst pattern three feet in diameter. And that was it. No bullet impacts anywhere. No twisted led from a ricochet. No sign of any injury.
"Anybody got any explanations?"
{[(Where is this taking place? What time of day is it? Who's talking? What do they look like? How old are they? Who are they talking to? How many people are there? How old are the people being talked to? What are their names? What do they look like?)]}
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14 comments:
what time of day is it? dawn, just when the sun is coming up so that you can see the details of... but not bright enough yet to see very well.
Who's talking? hmm... I'd like to see you write a story about a girl, for a change. Or maybe a group of people, 3 or 4. men and women.
how many people? maybe no one, maybe your main character is all alone and telling us the story years later... looking back. OR, maybe there is a group of people there (maybe your group of three of four main characters), that have just descended on the scene, they have no idea what happened, but no one is there to tell them... and it obviously happened recently. Maybe they are just normal people. American tourists, on a photographic expedition, to.... China maybe... or Israel. Or someplace more exotic... hmmm... New Zealand? how old are they? what do they look like? what are their names? What about a variety of ages? just a thought. I'm not sure if I like it either... I think maybe they are young. Maybe they spent all of their money on this trip, hoping to get a break. Make their fortunes. All of them pooled their money to be able to afford this trip. The last thing they need is a mystery to delay them....
btw.... I like this. It's fun. I hope you keep it up. Do you have your blog set so that it sends you an e-mail when someones posts a comment? You can do that if you just go into comment moderation and enable that feature.
yes I do have it set up to ping me when I get a comment. I didn't advertise it, I wanted to see if anyone would find it and if so, who. So far it's just you and Lids. She reccomended a character name. Thanks for the imput, even though there is a ton of conflicting ideas. Not your fault. What I need is for the reader to reccomend ideas. what they want to see. Of course, in order for this to be any good, I will have to have a time limit and then just wing it.
The problem with exotic locals is that I haven't been to any.
You got some great ideas. I hadn't thought about it being just ordinary people. But that's why I'm doing this. For the learning fun of it.
yes, I was trying to give you LOTS of ideas. I think it could be really awesome. What did you have in mind? You obviously must have some ideas... If this doesn't work this way... then I think that we (you and me) should definitely try to write something together. Wouldn't that be awesome? Doesn't it make you just a little excited? Or not. Whatever. I think it would be fun... :-) Your little sis/ arch nemesis....
fun fun!!
o.k. my thoughts
Where?
basement or garage. Maybe a bedroom.
What time of day? I agree with Rebecca, dawn, or dusk, whichever.
Who's talking?
A group of people. 2 Women and a man.
What do they look like? Well,this also answers How old are they? The man is 30. Tall (6'2")and skinny. Curly blonds hair, and striking brown eyes. He has on a brown three piece suit and is carrying a pad and pencil. The older of the 2 women is 32. Her face shows the wear of stress, her black hair, small signs of gray. Blue tired eyes. She is wearing slack and a sweater. The younger woman is 24, a rookie, graduated from college last year. She is dressed modestly in the latest fashion. Red hair, and green eyes. She carries a camera, and stands staring at the scene with grief and confusion on her face.
I see, after WW2, reporters going through houses that have been vacant for years. Searching for the after the war stories, life stories to tell. They are in a little boy's room. The boy collected casings that he found. He had a lot of them, it is WW2. The Gestapo burst into their house while he was holding/counting/moving the casings. He stood up quickly causing some to fall off his lap. Then dropped in ones in his hands. They fell to the floor.
Just some ideas that came to me....
How much outside impute do you want? Cause I know 2 girls who might be interested?...
We're starting to warm up out there!
It's one the web. How much more outside could that be?
Come one come all and if I don't like something that's been posted, I'll just remove it. hehehe
So, I'm guessing that you liked mine, cause you didn't remove it :)
I'll ask Deb and Krista if they want in. They are both Christians and like writing and books and such.
Wow, Katie, you have some awesome ideas... totally different than mine.
btw, ty, it's ok if you've been anywhere exotic. That's what Wikipedia is for. And google earth.
:-)
Where is this taking place? Minnesota, in an alleyway It's a VERY cold day, What time of day is it? Dusk, the temp is dropping rapidly, everyone is wearing layers. How many people are there? Four How old are they? There are two elderly people and a young girl 15- 20 (I agree with Becca, write about a girl, but it’s up to you.) Down the near street is a 30 something man in the shadows of a doorway. (Here’s an alternative to the girl being the main.) Who's talking? The old man is talking quietly, Who are they talking to? The two women are listening carefully. The man down the street is moving closer to hear better and is taking notes on a pad, most likely an unwelcome listener. What do they look like? The older man looks smart and well put together, long black coat and wire rimed glasses, he’s grey and going bald. A calculated look in his eyes could be mistaken for shrewdness. The older women is the sort plump motherly type, her white hair is in a loose high bun, her coat is also long, but brown and of a cheaper material, the girl is young and plain, she has the same look as the man. Her brown hair is in two braids, she was raised by the women. The 30 year old is tall and thoughtful looking, a pleasant sort of smirk is on his face as if he’s taking amusement in what is being said. What are their names? Fletcher and Margret are the older brother and sister, Felicity is the girl, the 30 year old? Well that’s the mystery, maybe Calvin…
The spent castings are on everywhere more in garbage cans on the sidewalk, ther's an open door leading to a warehouse, but no one enters it.
Cheerio,
Lydia
Forget Calvin. Eugene is better
Cheerio,
Someone-who-can't-make-up-her-mind
Eugene, huh, as in Our Mutual Friend. How about a totally normal name like Jeff or Mark.
Eugene because it's different, is he jolly? Or sad? You can't tell. Maybe Gereld...
Lyd
Gerald?!?! PLEASE!!!!! i don't think so. I don't really like Eugene either. Sorry, Lyds
no, no, no, Lyd, come up with some good names.
Ok, then if you don't like my names I'll just leave *stomps away, then comes back timedly* What about Nicholas? Ambrose? *everyone growns* Willaim? Kent? Now there's an Idea, Kent short for Kenton.
Lydia
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